Sunday, May 31, 2009

10 days

So I've made it through 10 days apart .... only about 150 days to go before the earliest Rob will be living at home again.

Argh, this pretty much sucks. I have to remember how proud I am of him, and not how much I miss him. Eventually we'll be able to talk on the phone again and I'll be able to visit him.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

A week and a day

It's been a week and a day since I dropped the hubs off at the recruiter's office to go up to boot camp. It's really starting to set in. He's not here. He's not going to be here for months. So no hugs, no cuddles. We're a very affectionate couple. We loved "hugs on a demand." No hugs on demand for me for a while (or him ... I doubt his drill instructor or bunk mate is giving him hugs on demand). And I can't just pick up the phone and call him. I miss that. Usually at least once (or twice) during the work day one of us would call the other just to say "hi ... I love you ... how's your day going?" for a couple minutes. I miss being able to just call him, hear his voice, tell him I love him, hear him say he loves me. AHHH. This cut off of all communication sucks. I know they have to break him in, and mold him, and I feel like I'm being broken in too. Forced to get used to being cut off from each other.

Anyway, the next time I see you, if I hug you a lot ... just bear with me. I miss hugs.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Box from The Sailor

Today I came home from work to The Box - his personal stuff that he can't keep with him during boot camp. Of course I had to take pictures:

Laundry ... yay! And big giant shoes.

I guess he couldn't keep his writing tablet with him, because that was in the box. But it seems like while he was waiting around right before leaving for base, he had some time to kill and wrote out a list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. I liked some of the things he wants to do:

Aww, he loves me :)

Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial Day

This morning I went to a Memorial Day parade in my town. It wasn't a traditional parade - it was just members of the VFW, with marching bands from the local junior high and high school marching to the local cemeteries in town (three along a stretch of a main road). I caught up with them at the second cemetery (about three-quarters of a mile from our apartment), and then followed down to the last (and largest) cemetery. During that ceremony, I cried a little bit, thinking about the sacrifices the hubs is making, and how proud I am of him.

Right after the ceremony ended, I really started to miss him. For some reason, looking at my cell phone hit me with the fact that he's not here. I don't know why. It's weird what things trigger those feelings. I started walking home, really missing him. I wish I had my buddy (that's what we call each other), and without him, I have to do everything alone. That's hard to think about right now. All the simple things we would do together - go to dinner, go to a movie, hang out with friends, or just sit at home together - I'm doing alone, missing him.

Memorial Day also always made me think of my Grandpa (Navy - WWII) and my Uncle (Army - Vietnam). I miss them both a lot. My Grandma was with Grandpa when he was off at WWII. I wish she were still alive so I could talk to her about it, and how she dealt with it. I couldn't imagine. I mean, we're apart right now, but I know the hubs is safe. I don't know how I would cope if he were to get deployed.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

First weekend

This morning I woke up and realized this is what my life will be like until October. I can take it day by day ... but it's going to last like this until at least October (maybe longer). Ugh. I need to forget about that and continue to focus on day by day. I will get to see him again in 9 weeks, and then when he's in a-school, we can talk on the phone, and I can visit him.

One hard thing about staying behind is all the reminders of him. There's the big stuff - photographs, all his books, the empty other half of the bed - but then there are the little daily things that make it seem like he should be here - his set of keys, his mp3 player, his soap and shampoo in the shower, CDs still in the stereo in his car.

In other news, my friends and I had a party last night to raise money for our Relay For Life team (to raise money for the American Cancer Society). We raised over $200! Not bad considering we started planning this party last Tuesday.

Friday, May 22, 2009

And that's that

I got my final phone call last night - "Hi, I'm here, see you in 9 weeks." I was getting pretty worried I wouldn't get it. By 11pm, he still hadn't called, and I have to work, so I went to bed. Finally, at 1:30am, my cell phone rings, and it's him. I'm glad I got the last call (it seals the deal that this is really happening, everything is in order, and finally there are no more reasons for them to send him home), but why so late??? I guess I need to remember that for the next 9 weeks (and then 14-26 weeks after that, and then 1-2 weekends/month), the Navy is #1, and the wife (and her sleep schedule) are #2.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


I'm waiting for my last phone call from the hubs for a few weeks. The last time I talked to him, he was waiting to be taken over to the base. He's supposed to get one last phone call to say "Hi, I'm here, I love you, see you in 9 weeks." So I'm waiting for this call. Then they mail home his personal stuff that he can't keep with him (cell phone, the clothes he wore over there).

First full day

Today is the first full day the hubs is gone. Coming home to an empty apartment after work kind of sucked. It used to be that I knew he would be home within an hour. Now that is not the case. It seems so much quieter here. I know it will get easier, but I almost don't want it to - that means I'm used to him being gone and I don't want to be "used" to that. Because eventually he will be back. So I need to continue to focus on that - this is temporary, and it's also a good thing. He's pursuing his goals. I'm proud of him. I just miss him a lot.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Day One

So I dropped off the hubs at the recruiter's office today, and he'll be heading to boot camp. Right now I'm distracting myself by hanging out at my parents house. Today is actually a great day to do so - the weather is beautiful and they have this awesome large screened-in back porch, so I'm hanging out here with my laptop, enjoying the warm breezes.

In other good news, my landlord agreed to let me get a cat. There is a no pets rule in our building, but we've been there for awhile, always pay rent on time, and I think the fact that the hubs is gone helps. So in a few weeks, I'm going to go out and get me a cute kitty. Maybe two, so they can play.

Monday, May 18, 2009

navy wife

In two days, Mr Not Margaret will attempt again to start boot camp to become a Navy Reservist. I'm not thrilled that he's leaving, but I'm happy for him to be pursuing his goals. I will miss him a lot though :(