Memorial Day

This morning I went to a Memorial Day parade in my town. It wasn't a traditional parade - it was just members of the VFW, with marching bands from the local junior high and high school marching to the local cemeteries in town (three along a stretch of a main road). I caught up with them at the second cemetery (about three-quarters of a mile from our apartment), and then followed down to the last (and largest) cemetery. During that ceremony, I cried a little bit, thinking about the sacrifices the hubs is making, and how proud I am of him.

Right after the ceremony ended, I really started to miss him. For some reason, looking at my cell phone hit me with the fact that he's not here. I don't know why. It's weird what things trigger those feelings. I started walking home, really missing him. I wish I had my buddy (that's what we call each other), and without him, I have to do everything alone. That's hard to think about right now. All the simple things we would do together - go to dinner, go to a movie, hang out with friends, or just sit at home together - I'm doing alone, missing him.


Memorial Day also always made me think of my Grandpa (Navy - WWII) and my Uncle (Army - Vietnam). I miss them both a lot. My Grandma was with Grandpa when he was off at WWII. I wish she were still alive so I could talk to her about it, and how she dealt with it. I couldn't imagine. I mean, we're apart right now, but I know the hubs is safe. I don't know how I would cope if he were to get deployed.

First weekend

This morning I woke up and realized this is what my life will be like until October. I can take it day by day ... but it's going to last like this until at least October (maybe longer). Ugh. I need to forget about that and continue to focus on day by day. I will get to see him again in 9 weeks, and then when he's in a-school, we can talk on the phone, and I can visit him.

One hard thing about staying behind is all the reminders of him. There's the big stuff - photographs, all his books, the empty other half of the bed - but then there are the little daily things that make it seem like he should be here - his set of keys, his mp3 player, his soap and shampoo in the shower, CDs still in the stereo in his car.

In other news, my friends and I had a party last night to raise money for our Relay For Life team (to raise money for the American Cancer Society). We raised over $200! Not bad considering we started planning this party last Tuesday.

And that's that

I got my final phone call last night - "Hi, I'm here, see you in 9 weeks." I was getting pretty worried I wouldn't get it. By 11pm, he still hadn't called, and I have to work, so I went to bed. Finally, at 1:30am, my cell phone rings, and it's him. I'm glad I got the last call (it seals the deal that this is really happening, everything is in order, and finally there are no more reasons for them to send him home), but why so late??? I guess I need to remember that for the next 9 weeks (and then 14-26 weeks after that, and then 1-2 weekends/month), the Navy is #1, and the wife (and her sleep schedule) are #2.

waiting

I'm waiting for my last phone call from the hubs for a few weeks. The last time I talked to him, he was waiting to be taken over to the base. He's supposed to get one last phone call to say "Hi, I'm here, I love you, see you in 9 weeks." So I'm waiting for this call. Then they mail home his personal stuff that he can't keep with him (cell phone, the clothes he wore over there).

First full day

Today is the first full day the hubs is gone. Coming home to an empty apartment after work kind of sucked. It used to be that I knew he would be home within an hour. Now that is not the case. It seems so much quieter here. I know it will get easier, but I almost don't want it to - that means I'm used to him being gone and I don't want to be "used" to that. Because eventually he will be back. So I need to continue to focus on that - this is temporary, and it's also a good thing. He's pursuing his goals. I'm proud of him. I just miss him a lot.